Burn
by Moon Prynces
Summary: (Fable 2) Reaver learns something sinfully unexpected about our dear Sparrow. And he also now knows why he does not have a chance in hell at bedding her. Humor.


2-4-11

2:33am

Summary–(Fable 2) Reaver learns something sinfully unexpected about our dear Sparrow. And he also now knows why he does not have a chance in hell at bedding her. Humor.

**Disclaimer–I do not own Fable, which belongs to its respective owner(s) and is only being used in a fan-made, fictional story.**

**xoxo**

**Title–Burn**

**By–Moon Prynces**

**xoxo**

He examined from where he followed a few footfalls behind her.

She walked with her head high, shoulders set and a purposeful gait. There was no need to mention that she was quite attractive, for why else would he spare her a second glance?

Well, it might have something to do with her surviving his little favor and then manipulating him to join her quest. Very different from what he was used to these days.

"_Come on, baby..._" a low voice nearby purred, aimed in their direction.

Reaver raised a brow as he glanced over and noticed a man with his lust-filled gaze aimed at his companion. He turned to see her reaction.

Which was disappointing, because not even her eyes flickered in the man's direction.

The mutt didn't seem to mind the attention his master was gathering either. Was this so common to them?

_"Why don't we find someplace where we can have a little fun?"_

His eyes moved along to find it was a woman who spoke this time, her accent heavy as well as her lids.

This wasn't all that surprising, Reaver reflected. They were walking through the town of _Bloodstone_, after all. It wasn't known for it's...cleanliness – both in hygiene and the acts of its citizens.

He let out a wolfish grin, remembering why he loved this place so much. And then a frown marred his perfect complexion as he almost stopped mid-step and headed to the local whore-house.

As the two continued through the streets (at a snail's pace, he thought), Reaver couldn't help but notice all the propositions being thrown Sparrow's way.

_"I can't help it, yer irresistible. Let's have some fun!"_

_"Do the words "roll in the hay" mean anything to you? Huh huh."_

_"Hey, come on, what d'you say we, uh, you know..."_

What was he, invisible?

Then again, everyone might still be wary of his trigger finger. Better to wait for an invitation into Reaver's bed than risk his short temper and welcome a bullet to the back of one's head.

Still, the woman neither smiled nor flinched at all the lewd words and wanton looks being thrown her way. There was practically a crowd of people trying to get her attention by then.

Seriously, when did she become so popular?

Oh, right...

But that didn't explain this whole phenomenon.

Reaver smirked and sped up to walk next to the woman. "Are you alright, Sparrow, dead– dear friend?"

The dog turned to look at the two from where he continued onward a few feet ahead, but all he did was slow his eager trot.

Said woman glanced at him suspiciously.

"You know, there is no rush. Lucien's not going anywhere," he continued. "You look like you need a little time to de-stress." And he snapped his fingers, as if a thought had just occurred to him. "Why don't we head to the nearest brothel and–"

"No thank you," she replied curtly, catching onto his suggestion.

"Come now, I can see it in your very posture! You _deserve_ a break from all the running around you've been doing."

Sparrow found it funny he didn't mention that he had made her run an errand as well – the one that led right back into Wraithmarsh.

"I do," she agreed. "After Lucien is dead."

Reaver's triumphant expression fell into distaste. "Are you too proper to engage in the caressing of flesh?" He smirked again, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "A prude, eh? That would explain a lot."

And then his gaze raked up and down her form openly.

Sparrow felt herself stiffen unconsciously at his scrutiny, but she managed a deep frown and creased brows all the same.

"I have no problem with sex, Reaver," she finally said as he kept his narrowed, arrogant eyes on her.

"Is that so?" And somehow one of his hands snaked its way up her arm and landed delicately on her shoulder.

She immediately shrugged this off, and instead of frowning Reaver kept grinning while feeling as though he was right. He was even more pleased as Sparrow winced at the next few comments.

_"Fancy making the bed squeak?"_

_"You fancy a trip to paradise?"_

The Hero, for her part, wanted to slap her face in frustration at the way this trip was turning out. She just wanted to use the "Hero of Skill" to defeat Lucien and then throw him into the ocean.

Her wince was only due to all the attention she had gathered while trying to lead him out of the city. If the bloody town (and every citizen in Albion) could get over their feelings she wouldn't have to zip through areas while avoiding eye contact.

Who wanted a bunch of irritating followers anyway? In fact, she didn't want any followers at all! There had already been one too many cases of villagers trailing after her and onto the dangerous roads where Bandits and Balverines lurked.

"It seems quite a shame, really," his voice started up again, causing her to roll her eyes while her dog paused, waiting for them to catch up. Reaver turned to her with a mischievous expression. "I'm sure your performance isn't anything to laugh at. You probably just need a more experienced individual to–"

She'd had enough.

"Reaver," Sparrow cut in with an edgy voice, causing said man to raise a brow curiously at her sudden change of tone. "Do you wonder _why_ all those people are trying to coax me into their beds?"

He waited patiently as they stopped walking altogether, and the mutt took a seat on the cobblestones to whine in displeasure.

"Because I've already slept with many of them," she told him evenly, a hand placed securely at her hip.

His reaction was to scoff in disbelief. When she did nothing but hold her ground with the same, firm face, he regarded her carefully.

So...the reason they were all so intent on sleeping with her was...because they already had. Huh.

"Is that so?" he questioned back with his usual cockiness. "If that's the case then I think we need to make a detour before we venture further into your _quest_."

With that he grabbed her elbow and started to lead her back up to his manor, but after a few steps spotted an open doorway with a decent looking bed just inside.

"What are you doing?" Sparrow asked viciously, though took care to minimize bruising by waiting until he let go to bash his head in.

"Well," he said while pulling out his Dragonstomper, aiming it at the home owner's head and motioning the person to move away. "I think before we embark on this obviously life-threatening mission that you and I–"

Her eyes opened wider as she caught on. And then she nodded, lips pulling back slightly. "Oh I see. You want to bed me as well?"

Reaver was baffled as she lifted a boot and kicked at his shin hard, just as they walked through the doorway, and he was forced to release his grip.

"Sorry about that," she replied with the same smile and not looking sorry at all. "But we can't."

He was too busy hissing in pain, bent over and still gripping his weapon tightly.

"I do tend to choose my bedfellows with more..._care _than you do," she said haughtily, wondering if she should disarm him.

How bad would it look to show up with a slightly banged up Hero of Skill?

"Of course," he responded while slowly standing back up to his regal position, ignoring the injury.

"I can't sleep with you, Reaver," Sparrow said, looking quite sincere for a minute.

Reaver's face twisted up in genuine confusion as a reaction.

"I try to be more careful than you'd think. I'm still clean," she told him.

Meanwhile her dog was sitting just outside the doorway and a crowd of villagers, as always, was coming closer.

"And I'm not sure _you_ are."

He was so taken-aback at this accusation that the hand with his weapon hung limply and his mouth opened, aghast.

"Your own level of promiscuity over hundreds of years has surely led to some fine STDs, no?" And she smirked, looking up in mock-thought. "I wonder how one can enjoy an eternal life when it burns every time you pee."

Even through the haze of shock, Reaver had to admit she was a wicked creature. Definitely not what he was used to.

_"I want you! I want you __**now**__!"_

The two turned to the source of the disturbance and saw a man in the front of the group, looking to Sparrow.

Reaver glanced back at her out of the corner of his eyes.

_You said it, Jack,_ he thought.

**xo end xo**

**Random** idea I had while playing the other day. It's not meant to be romance (though those parting lines do suggest something, hm?) or anything – just some (slightly vulgar) humor. I wonder if I overdid this though. It seems a bit drawn out just to get to the ending and such…

And also! The title is actually the slang use of the word, which I'm wondering if you're all aware of so I'll put it here... Urban Dictionary is the best place to find the definition of how I used it, so you can look it up yourself if you'd like.

**Burn**: "slang: to disrespect someone (to diss); to make fun of someone; used by a third party after a first party makes fun of a second party. Brought back to life by the ever-popular That 70's Show." or "To be thoroughly humiliated or insulted to the point where you cannot return with a comeback."

So yeah, he got burned alright. XD

Well, thank you for reading and tell me what you think! I hope somewhere in there you laughed or smiled or just enjoyed reading this.

2-5-11

12:24am


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